The kids are away for TWO WHOLE WEEKS   ?What shall i do?  Well, Now that i just finished Aidans portfolio <YAY!!!> ( but still have to get it into their office since when i went they were closed ) I can relax a little.

These are somethings i'm thinking about doing:

- going on a day trip to the shore

- going on some bike rides

- starting to scrapbook the millions of pictures we have

- seeing if i can sun myself in my yard so my tan line doesnt stop at my short line

- declutter and organize some areas of the house and barn

- having more fun with my husband

I am so so so so tired.  I dont know why.  no explanation for it.  I'm starting to worry.  I'm going to make an appointment and have a full work-up (is that what they're called??) /physical.  There is just no reason i can think of that i should be so tired.  For a while i attributed it to stress but now the bulk of that has passed for now and shouldnt i be feeling normal?

uhhhgggg.

anyway here are a few pictures.  please someone take a peak and comment:) Pretty please;)

(Ah!! yay! I believe i have identified the flower: Rubus odoratus-- Purple-flowering Raspberry)  I went to >> www.ct-botanical-society.org/galleries/rubusodor.html

~~~On Fathers Day we took a hike into the woods where we were able to explore and climb on huge boulders.  I found these little purple flowers all over and dont know what they are.

The Last three weeks have been tough, strange, yet full of opportunity

I've found an invitation, as someone has thankfully pointed out, to look and see what i might find waiting in the shadows

The shadows could be scary, but they're not quite

For i have friends who know me and believe in me

Even while there are those that question my motives and fear my next move

...So in the shadow I can quietly sit and contemplate and ask for the courage and the wisdom

How'd ya like a little plum paste to go with those soft pretzels? just kidding.

How about coconut curry chicken?~ what i made for dinner tonight with a mix of both yams and sweet potatoes.  the kids had orange slices and we had salad. 

Now i'm ready to Go out and get some sorbet with the lovely excuse that it's so damn hot.  Nothing like  a frozen sweet concotion of fruit and sugar melting on your hot tongue as you try to enjoy the steamy night.

See... It's all about food here sometimes, or rather the good things in life; outdoors, animals, good food, a good book, some fine tunes.

                                        Baked a strawberry tart But they go just as good with some plain ole milk!

  Boy oh boy,  It's been a rough week or so.  Since getting back to meetings It seems that my emotions are just raw.  My med dr. has me only on one med and while i'm not so sure about that i think i'm going to ride it out as much as possible- get a good therapist ( i know, i've said this how many times??!) and see if things begin to level out. 

Now, thats no easy task . As  a recovering addict theres a lot of work to do .  Those steps i began working 13 yrs ago got left behind more or less right in the middle of number 4.  NOT GOOD.  It's really no wonder i showed up again after 7 yrs.  I simply cant stop wishing right now that I never stopped.  I know it doesnt do a damned bit of good to wish for such things and to have regrets but i seem to be rather prone to delving into the past and feeling sorry for myself lately.   Thats what i mean by raw.  I'm sentimental, emotional, negative, broody (is that the word?)

Anyway,  I'm taking care of the functioning of the house and the kids and the animals but yeah, a little call is in order for a therapist .